Monday, January 28, 2008

Winter Blues vs. God's Amazing Grace...

Well, my house has been a little drab over the last several weeks. Sickness snuck in and got us all at one point and time since Christmas. Michael and I were down for several weeks at the end of the year and first part of the new year. The girls are currently recovering from a nasty virus bug.

I'm ready for Spring...I want to open up my windows and let in the fresh air. I want to see the flowers bloom and the world around me changing. Spring always reminds me of a special promise. Something I have been told quite often by many who love me lately. "This too shall pass."

I can finally see that light shining through at the end of the path. The girls are up and feeling much better today. No fevers. Yeah!! In the dark days of whining, sick, very upset and sour feeling children, what does a worn down mother do to get her through, what seems like and unending bout of sickness? I turned to the Lord. Used my devotions to help me look for a towards the light. I am human and didn't do this quickly enough...Of course I waited until my breaking point. When I could take no more. The thought of going crazy in this house with my children watching brought me to the feet of the Lord. "Just get me through this...." How often have I or you prayed this prayer. A prayer of desperation. So about 1/2 way through my trial of being tested I finally give in and crawled into the arms of our Lord. This is what the Lord said to me through Ephesians 2:3-17-19.

" I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. 18 And I pray that you and all God's hold people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love- how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. 19 Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God."

God is always there. When I get to busy to read his word, he is still there waiting on me. I am very guilty of commitment when it comes to my spending time with God. I'm often very consumed with life, my own trials and daily stresses. How could I stretch myself another ounce to find time for reading? This verse allowed me to be transformed. Helped me understand what my commitment to God would do and mean in my life. I had been getting by on enough of God to fulfill my needs, right when I needed him most. Doesn't he deserve more...My devotion that night, which lead me to the verse above taught me that commitment was imperative for my spiritual happiness.

Do I want to live a spiritual life that is saved just in the nick of time and risk the chance of really going crazy without God in my life daily... Or do I want to commit to my heavenly Father by coming to God everyday, allowing myself the honor of being filled with the fullness of God? (just as the scripture mentioned) Just the thought of never being at the desperate breaking point is refreshing. What would it fill like to get enough of God's fullness in my life each day? This is not to say that there will no longer be trials in my life. But when the testing times do come I will be strong and know instantly where my hope and trust must lie. To always have my eye on the light before the path ever gets dark and dreary. This is the relationship I long for...

The steps ahead that will take me there. Joanna Weaver author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, shared what helped her to get to this point in her life. She called the the 3 little keys.
*Consistency (Consistent Practice)
*Creativity (Creative Strategies)
*Conversation (A little Conversation)

She went on to say that when she became committed to these steps God transformed her life in miraculous ways. She became excited about her daily time with God. Sometimes she could not sleep and would find herself in Gods presence. This is something like what happened to me after my time with God. I went to bed after reading the bible and chapter 7 of her book. As I was laying there this thought came over me and I got up to record it in my journal.

Journal Entry 1-24-08
I love coffee. I look forward to it each morning, it gets my heart racing, gives me the energy I need to tackle a busy day at most. I realized that recently my cup of coffee had been more of a daily commitment than my time with God. My heart was no longer willing to exist in the midst of a melancholy type of love. No longer was half hearted, un-willful, occasional, unintentional devotion and prayer enough. The scripture had finally changed me. I had allowed God to change me as I had prayed so many times before. “Lord, use me for your glory, not my own intentions.”

So as a late New Years Resolution...I resolve to feed my soul...Letting the Lord transform me...
No more just in the nick of times. I want and desire something much deeper...When it comes down to it God's Amazing Grace will always prevail if you invite Him into your life for more than an occasional cup of coffee.

1 comment:

Erin said...

You truly inspire me to want to be a better person.